Sunday, July 21, 2019


1 New Message
Received
(The following began as a typically
mundane morning text which
like a runaway train of thought
jumped the tracks
and insisted on living
life on the lam
as an unlikely poem)

Good Morning _________!
Many dreams last night. 
Fears of ineptitude. 
Fears of discovery. 
Longing for acceptance. 
Faking normality, 
as if the night 
brought on
dark judgements 
of it's own.
This morning
my urge to write 
created a  
stubborn paralysis. 
I can’t force it.
That’s why 
this text is 
so full of
affectation.
Sitting on the sofa 
at 7:00 AM
struggling to wake, 
the big red 
abstract painting 
promptly fell 
off the wall
behind me. 
I was too startled 
to be scared. 
Had I been killed
by art 
my life would 
have been
forever punctuated 
by this humorous
final anecdote.
You know how
easily I bleed.

I cut up a peach 
on my cereal...
it was good, 
though these 
particular peaches 
lack pizazz. 
The dominating sun 
invading the window 
makes me feel 
like shrinking
from the politics
of harshest light. 
Debussy’s The Girl with the Flaxen Hair 
just dropped like a record 
on the jukebox radio
making the world 
seem lyrical. 

As this is not
a poem
there’s no pressure 
to clamor for significance. 
Yet, my secret channel
is wide open. 
If I have to do it here
then I’ll do it here. 
Say what comes. 
Let go of my need 
to be logical, 
desirous, 
constructive
in so 
impromptu a venue
and just live 
lovingly
beside everyone 
and everything. 
No judgements, 
no yearning, 
no insistence. 
A mercurial
minded tree 
unstuck from 
the mud.

Peter Valentyne
July 21, 2019

Tuesday, July 9, 2019





Cathedral
(for David)

He found the present discomforting
as it rarely met his needs.
Life was filled with small irritations
that grew large in his mind.
He was helpless not to keep track 
of the many personal slights
any given day would heap upon him.

Could he help having preferences?
After all, liking and disliking was the very
definition of freedom and self expression.
If he didn’t enjoy something
he was compelled to expel it,
throw it out or at least declare
it’s inferiority. So much of life
was not as it should be.

Walking down the city street 
proved especially frustrating 
as he was always calculating 
the crosswalk ahead of him, 
trying to time his footsteps 
to reach the corner just as the light 
changed so that he would not 
have to pause in his gait.

He also did not appreciate the sun
glaring in his eyes as he preferred
the shady side of the street, its darkness
felt so much less to live up to.
Restaurants proved difficult
if not impossible. Bad service
would put him in a hideous state for days.

Sleeping was a nightly challenge
as he needed 5 pillows to prop
himself up perfectly so that the tilt
of his head was at just the right angle
that his nasal passages could take in
the maximum amount of air.
He had a fear of suffocating…
if his breathing was not proportioned
and thoroughly thought out.

He was obsessed with having 
a daily scheduled bowel-movement. 
He wanted one shortly after rising
and if he failed in this, his day
was started off on the wrong foot
and he would stew so
that he couldn’t even focus
on reading a single page of a book.

The smell of his neighbor’s cooking
was an all out assault on his senses,
particularly the boiled cabbage
which often seeped under his door
like a unsavory intruder or seedy drifter.
Why couldn’t people keep their smells
to themselves? Such thoughts made 
him seethe with murderous 
rumblings in the pit of his stomach.

As he never learned to cook
he was doomed to consume
nightly frozen dinners such as
Marie Callender pot pies
and Lean Cuisines, all of which
he’d long tired of ages ago.
He would often binge on 
an entire box of cookies or
bag of chips as his compulsions
(when they met with twin approval)
knew no moderation.

Nothing in his apartment
ever strayed from it’s assigned
position. Newspapers, once read
spottily and without regard
were quickly ushered to the bin.
He couldn’t bare possessing
for possessions sake. When he 
was through, he wanted nothing
to do with a thing’s useless paralysis.

So much of life had been
flushed down his toilet that
the bowl itself had become
a kind of symbol of purification.
He displayed the same rigor
in laundering his dirty things.
Whites with whites, colors
with colors. Cleaning anything
was like a necessary evil,
a chore to complain of.

When he read a book it was only
to exercise the muscle of his brain;
he had a compulsive dread
of losing his motor skills.
Already words had begun to fail him;
a family name, a day of the week,
something he heard someone say.
The thought of losing his memory
galled him and he felt a victim.

He had no hobbies, no art.
He was amused by the game shows.
Even so, the man kept a miniature 
of Rodin’s The Thinker on his desk.
Unbeknownst to him a spider
had left a single thread across
the fist that held the chin.

The spider lived in a state
of constant amazement.
He was a genius of eight legged
self expression. The beleaguered man
did not know he shared his abode
with a creature who was so entirely 
contented with it’s own existence.
The one bedroom apartment
seemed a mansion. 

The spider lived slowly.
It’s every web,
the unconscious construction
of another splendiferous cathedral.
A straight line is its own art;
every intersection, a decision
of refinement and integrity.

The spider made sense of the world
via an expressionistic knack for math.
It’s joy lay in dark corners.
It’s hobby was resting in a shadow.
Every web a wedding quilt in progress.

One morning a shard of blue sea glass
on the window sill
had captured it’s fancy.

A veil was an evidence of love.
The spider has one pastime: it’s pleasure.
There was no such thing as happiness,
nor grief or sadness.
Absent of thoughts, the spider
accepted the world as it was,
as it found it.
Perpetual sperm was a way of life.

The spider escaped the man’s notice,
therefore, his ire. But the spider
was well aware of the man.
He watched as he wept at night.
He wished he might put him out
of his misery, but as all spiders,
he was a poet only. Every silky
trail a fine line; a miracle
of channeled engineering.

If they ever met, 
one would 
surely kill the other.


Peter Valentyne
July 9th, 2019



Sunday, July 7, 2019



Three 
of Arts

There were three of him
at any given moment.

One demanded a daily dose
of joy, wringing from the slightest
episode a sense of holiday.
After all, life was for keeping 
love alive.

One was bent on making amends
as though he had lived wrongly.
Every decision a bid for redemption,
every gratitude a way back 
to the jubilance of childhood.

One surveilled his own discomfort
so that every hurt or pain
might revive his spirit
like an art for polishing stones.
That way, every tyranny 
chanced to refine him.


Peter Valentyne
July 7th, 2019




Monday, July 1, 2019



Savagery of 
the Sentimentalists

Uncomfortable with sentimentality,
experience had taught him
where others were concerned,
mawkishness masked cruelty.
That said, he was himself
a melancholy person,
his sentiment rooted in
a beatific 
apprehension of pain. 
Vulnerable to a fault
he had embraced 
bewilderment as religion,
making himself a reluctant savior
for the rabble’s patent disregard.
Oh, he had his integrity,
but it was of a kind
that sealed him within
a self-sustaining terrarium.
His aloneness, an ache
that generated it’s own faith
as his failures and discomforts
made him more vivid.
He had to remind himself
everything absent
was not lost.

To his mind,
the sentimentalists, blind
and prone
to find him through smell,
appearing out of nowhere
fascinated by 
his lonely strength of purpose
would first hold him up,
place him on a pedestal,
praise him beyond reason
then, when he proved to be
merely human
pull a 180 
and condemn him
with all the vitriolic
accusations railed
against a false God.

He saw through projections
 like an acrid taste of fetid air,
yet only yesterday he'd been
ambushed by sentimentalists
clinging to their dewy idealism,
un-transcended,
mama’s boy versions
of wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Such sheep are the enemy
of art and artist alike
as their stunted emotionalism
insists on dividing
up their shares between
friend and necessary foe
 based on a wronged child’s
vengeful autonomy.

Inclusively Indulgent,
they worshiped
at the corner altar
of their own preferences,
full of precious memories,
clinging to emotional spoils
embracing their fantasies
with utter lack 
of imagination;
as violent
as the color white
and just as chronic.

Whereas, his kind was
pure fertilizer
juxtaposed to their 
antiseptic mud;
his every leap of faith
a human sacrifice,
their faces smeared
like young savages
with the blood
of common
house flies.


Peter Valentyne
July 1st, 2019

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Whereby the Poet Cross-Pollenates
a Poem with a Prayer

"The true thought seems to have no author." 
                      ~Clarice Lispector


Here is my
heartfelt hypothesis:
based on the fertile
fact I initiate
every poem as
a visible letter to 
an invisible God
by testifying to
the human experience
as an experiment
in marrying 
sun and moon,
night and day
through
cross fermentation
resulting in a rebirth
both inner and outer
of states and behaviors
to exist not at odds,
but in harmony
thereby emancipating
King & Queen
to reign
above and below
in illuminated
appropriation  
of botany’s
secret
science
of the
Materia Prima.

Therefore, I submit
for examination
the following poem
as a
cross-pollenated 
prayer.

Take note that
it asks
for nothing
by way of
illustrating
it’s anomalous 
malformation,
a flower’s wish 
to be beautiful,
stemming from
the unnecessary 
yet poignant
aberration
of it’s being.

In this somewhat
unnatural state
the poet 
(here represented by myself)
may be
considered
 a rogue bee
abdicating the
unconscious machinations
of the swarm,
secluded from the hive,
hovering pariah-like 
above a daffodil,
encoded to make honey
it’s subversive calling.
Hands in prayer
like folded wings,
a worker bee
with no need
to question 
my occupation
as 
the poem,
like honey,
is my 
purpose.

Allow for
pure conjecture:
can praying 
make nectar
 through petition?
And is honey 
a wound’s remedy,
both 
antibody and cure?

Consider the following
internal processes:
(here voiced by the poet)
God give me 
the sense
to not pray 
for what i want,
let me not 
ask for more,
always more.
I will be
a prayer
without wanting,
a question 
with no need
for an answer.

Does to pray
without supplication 
still qualify
as prayer?
Even if one asks 
only that
His will be done,
one asks
for something.

I hereby 
offer evidence
that prayers have
gradually,
 if imperceptibly,
evolved
into the granting
of wishes
as opposed to
affirmations,
in which case
the bible
may well be
referred to
as the history
of the
begging bowl.

If asking betrays 
a lack of faith
then what is 
a prayer for?
Here, the poet
digresses:
Let me be grateful 
for my suffering
as there are others 
who would be
content with pain  
as slight as mine.
Still I petition
to be grateful.
If I am thankful, 
why am I
praying to
make it so?

In light of
the experimental nature
of the afore-mentioned 
poem 
which begs the question 
what is a prayer for,
how is it
I could
have been so
pedestrian? 
God, please let me find happiness.
God, please let me lose weight.
God, please heal my friend and neighbor.
God, please don’t let me lose my hair.
God, please let me get that job.
God, please let me find love.
God, please let me recover quickly.
I offer:
Why would God do or not do
any of these things?

What kind of riddle 
am I constructing?
What if we are being 
sentenced by
the very construct 
of our prayers?
To want or wish 
for anything
reinforces and 
assumes its absence;
every prayer 
a declaration 
of depravation.

What of those 
who pray
not knowing 
to be careful 
what they wish for?
What about the 
prayed for outcome
that inadvertently
brings on 
devastation for another,
that brings unwanted 
responsibility,
that inadvertently 
sinks the ship
after praying 
for rain,
or praying 
for a 
precipitous snow 
to melt,
then finding 
the valley 
flooded?

And so I have 
decided to be
declarative and 
confessional
only.
No more prayers, 
only poetry;
poetry immune 
to the literal,
poetry that honors
the soul
in all it’s mystery,
poetry that asks 
for nothing,
lives without utility,
a poem 
none want or need
because it 
merely exists
for awe 
of a flower.

*See poems 
only written
to be read
in the morning
when the senses are 
more delicate,
sensitive, and pure.
A day of living 
in the modern world
dulls the senses,
judgements gather 
like clutter
and as the day 
goes on
we find 
we are living
in our mind’s
private
debris field.

If we live
under the
assumption 
we are lost, 
abandoned,
then every man 
for himself
finds evidence 
in those
around him.

Others are 
our mirror
and when we 
don’t like 
what we see
we’ll not like 
ourselves either
because we 
can’t sever 
the connection
with how we feel,
therefore our 
disgust 
with the other
shames us both.

A prayer 
needs imagery
like a poem, 
yet images
renounce our 
reductions
as our minds
cannot process
a single
carrot, cloud, or cat;
anything 
un-man-made.

That said,
I fear my heart
is dyslexic,
proceeding from a place 
of outcomes and
working backward 
toward
seeds of feeling,
like characters
in search of an author,
in need of a source
to pin it’s
 misery on
unaware that
the source
is always 
the Beloved, 
and the Beloved
is an
eco-system
of circulating love.

Peter Valentyne
June 26th, 2019