A distressed naked man makes his way into a room through a door only to find himself in an open field where at the center stands a scarecrow on a makeshift cross made of barren branches. He approaches the totem, his eyes fixed on the unexpected sight of a full set of clothes.
SCARECROW
Who approaches...are ye a crow?
The MAN looks startled and vaguely frightened.
Who approaches...are ye a crow?
The MAN looks startled and vaguely frightened.
MAN
Who spoke?
SCARECROW
It is I, Lord of the field.
What be your name, stranger?
MAN
What? How??
SCARECROW
Fear is my reason for being.
Not my fear, but your own.
Name yourself and thy needn't
be afraid.
MAN
(confused)
Who....my name?
SCARECROW
Those that had a mother
are sure to be named.
are sure to be named.
MAN
(casting eyes all around)
(casting eyes all around)
Where is this place? I can't...I don't…
SCARECROW
Your tongue is as tied in knots
as mine. Though mine be
woven of wheat.
Your tongue is as tied in knots
as mine. Though mine be
woven of wheat.
MAN
Do...you know where my
clothes are? Did you...
clothes are? Did you...
SCARECROW
I may be made of hand-me-downs
but I'm no thief!
MAN
It's just that I'm not accustomed
to roaming fields...in my all-
together.
SCARECROW
I may be made of hand-me-downs
but I'm no thief!
MAN
It's just that I'm not accustomed
to roaming fields...in my all-
together.
SCARECROW
Clothes make the man.
I do know that.
I do know that.
MAN
But you’re not a man.
Though someone went to the trouble
of making you.
Though someone went to the trouble
of making you.
SCARECROW
Me thinks I could say
the same for you.
You still haven't told me
your name. I know mine.
the same for you.
You still haven't told me
your name. I know mine.
MAN
I can't think straight...
Why should anyone
name you?
Why should anyone
name you?
SCARECROW
As a matter of fact,
three days ago I was
christened Cornflake by
christened Cornflake by
a child both playful and
pure of heart.
MAN
No child made you.
SCARECROW/CORNFLAKE
You’re right, it's true. It was the father
who made me.
MAN
These must be
his clothes then.
CORNFLAKE
It matters little
to me. I exist on my
own all the same. My heart
is a hematite stone held in
place by a mulch of
violet, thistle, and honeysuckle.
Mine is a history of cedar
and straw.
What be your
history?
MAN
I can't think about it now.
CORNFLAKE
It stands to reason
you may just have
to me. I exist on my
own all the same. My heart
is a hematite stone held in
place by a mulch of
violet, thistle, and honeysuckle.
Mine is a history of cedar
and straw.
What be your
history?
MAN
I can't think about it now.
CORNFLAKE
It stands to reason
you may just have
been stripped naked and
robbed. Anyone could see that
goose egg on your head
from a mile away.
goose egg on your head
from a mile away.
MAN
I only remember
falling asleep...
CORNFLAKE
What mean you…
remember?
MAN
What do you mean?
CORNFLAKE
I was remembered
into being.
into being.
MAN
I can't say...
I've no clue.
I've no clue.
CORNFLAKE
Well, then it doesn’t
really matter, does it?
A sudden gust of wind blows the scarecrow’s hat off and onto the ground.
CORNFLAKE
Say, would you mind?
The naked man goes and picks up the hat, then tries it on his own head.
MAN
It just fits.
CORNFLAKE
You mean like a glove. Like my
two hands…two gloves
filled with stale straw.
MAN
I feel more human already.
CORNFLAKE
I know what you mean. A hat is very
definite. There are some men on
whom the impossibility of being
someone from the Middle Ages
weighs on them like a curse.
There are others who find
the very act of shaking hands
hopelessly venial.
What manner of man are you?
The MAN takes the hat off and examines it carefully. He turns it over and peers carefully inside.
MAN
There's something written here.
CORNFLAKE
Where?
MAN
On the inside of the brim.
CORNFLAKE
I should like my hat back now.
MAN
(squints as he reads)
P-E-N-D-L-E-T-O-N
Ring any bells?
Your father perhaps?
CORNFLAKE
Who can say?
MAN
I can't believe I just ask a
scarecrow who his father was.
CORNFLAKE
At this moment I consider you the
greater mystery.
MAN
I'm finding it rather difficult
to contemplate myself
in the slightest.
CORNFLAKE
What is contemplate?
MAN
I keep forgetting you're
only made of straw. What am I
saying? You can talk can't you...
so you can surely think!
CORNFLAKE
I don't think. I just know.
I don't live, I just am.
I enjoy nothing more than seeing
things illuminated by the sun.
I gaze upon everything in
my radius with utter
fondness.
MAN
Then you enjoy being stranded
in the middle of nowhere
waiting to disintegrate.
CORNFLAKE
I dare say I do enjoy the
thought of my own
nothingness. In some
tangled way this very field
is part of my blood. I was
not meant for reality.
It was life that sought me out,
not the other way around.
MAN
But wouldn't you like to tear away
from that pole and walk about awhile?
CORNFLAKE
I never thought about it.
MAN
What good are having legs if not
for walking?
CORNFLAKE
Where would I go? For what
purpose would I go there?
MAN
You could expand your horizons.
CORNFLAKE
I've all I want right here, thank you.
MAN
(commences to removing the scarecrow's trousers)
Then you certainly won't be needing
these pants.
CORNFLAKE
Hey, what are you doing?? Stop that!
MAN
Don't worry, I'll leave you intact.
MAN puts on the confiscated trousers
one leg at a time.
CORNFLAKE
Well, was that really called for?
I never took you for a brute. I
see now I was wrong.
meant to be.
CORNFLAKE
Yes, meant to be mine.
MAN
I'm beginning to make
sense of myself.
CORNFLAKE
That makes one of us.
MAN
What did they call you...
Cornflake? Hey, wait a minute,
this isn't even a corn field. What's
a scarecrow propped up in a
damn wheat field for?
CORNFLAKE
For you.
MAN
Huh?
CORNFLAKE
You might as well have
my shirt, don't you think?
MAN
Much obliged.
The MAN removes the SCARECROW'S shirt and puts it on himself.
MAN
There...how do I look?
CORNFLAKE
Like a perfect thief
with nothing left to steal.
MAN
So.
CORNFLAKE
When we are not loved into
being....God sends out a crow.
A potent wind suddenly picks up. We hear the cawing of crows. CORNFLAKE slips from his bondage and reaches out toward the MAN. The two seem to struggle. Then as though by a mysterious osmosis the two change places. The MAN is now fixed upon the cross of barren branches. The naked straw MAN kneels before the SCARECROW.
MAN
I will call you....EM.
LIGHTS OUT
I feel more human already.
CORNFLAKE
I know what you mean. A hat is very
definite. There are some men on
whom the impossibility of being
someone from the Middle Ages
weighs on them like a curse.
There are others who find
the very act of shaking hands
hopelessly venial.
What manner of man are you?
The MAN takes the hat off and examines it carefully. He turns it over and peers carefully inside.
MAN
There's something written here.
CORNFLAKE
Where?
MAN
On the inside of the brim.
CORNFLAKE
I should like my hat back now.
MAN
(squints as he reads)
P-E-N-D-L-E-T-O-N
Ring any bells?
Your father perhaps?
CORNFLAKE
Who can say?
MAN
I can't believe I just ask a
scarecrow who his father was.
CORNFLAKE
At this moment I consider you the
greater mystery.
MAN
I'm finding it rather difficult
to contemplate myself
in the slightest.
CORNFLAKE
What is contemplate?
MAN
I keep forgetting you're
only made of straw. What am I
saying? You can talk can't you...
so you can surely think!
CORNFLAKE
I don't think. I just know.
I don't live, I just am.
I enjoy nothing more than seeing
things illuminated by the sun.
I gaze upon everything in
my radius with utter
fondness.
MAN
Then you enjoy being stranded
in the middle of nowhere
waiting to disintegrate.
CORNFLAKE
I dare say I do enjoy the
thought of my own
nothingness. In some
tangled way this very field
is part of my blood. I was
not meant for reality.
It was life that sought me out,
not the other way around.
MAN
But wouldn't you like to tear away
from that pole and walk about awhile?
CORNFLAKE
I never thought about it.
MAN
What good are having legs if not
for walking?
CORNFLAKE
Where would I go? For what
purpose would I go there?
MAN
You could expand your horizons.
CORNFLAKE
I've all I want right here, thank you.
MAN
(commences to removing the scarecrow's trousers)
Then you certainly won't be needing
these pants.
CORNFLAKE
Hey, what are you doing?? Stop that!
MAN
Don't worry, I'll leave you intact.
MAN puts on the confiscated trousers
one leg at a time.
CORNFLAKE
Well, was that really called for?
I never took you for a brute. I
see now I was wrong.
MAN
Don't worry...I plan to wear them
in good health. You're sure
to go to heaven for this.
to go to heaven for this.
MAN zips up.
MAN
They fit as if they weremeant to be.
CORNFLAKE
Yes, meant to be mine.
MAN
I'm beginning to make
sense of myself.
CORNFLAKE
That makes one of us.
MAN
What did they call you...
Cornflake? Hey, wait a minute,
this isn't even a corn field. What's
a scarecrow propped up in a
damn wheat field for?
CORNFLAKE
For you.
MAN
Huh?
CORNFLAKE
You might as well have
my shirt, don't you think?
MAN
Much obliged.
The MAN removes the SCARECROW'S shirt and puts it on himself.
MAN
There...how do I look?
CORNFLAKE
Like a perfect thief
with nothing left to steal.
MAN
So.
CORNFLAKE
When we are not loved into
being....God sends out a crow.
A potent wind suddenly picks up. We hear the cawing of crows. CORNFLAKE slips from his bondage and reaches out toward the MAN. The two seem to struggle. Then as though by a mysterious osmosis the two change places. The MAN is now fixed upon the cross of barren branches. The naked straw MAN kneels before the SCARECROW.
MAN
I will call you....EM.
LIGHTS OUT
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